Weird things MY Mormon says.

So the other day Craig said a few things that I wanted to process. I figure when I process things that could relate to the differences of husbands devoutness and my lack thereof I’ll do it here.

So, Fast Sunday happened a few days ago. The night before, Craig realized that the following day would be that Fast Sunday. So, while driving around, he goes, “Oh tomorrow is Fast Sunday! It’s been a while since I felt hungry, so it’ll be nice to feel hungry.” . . . Insert Crickets Chirping here. . . Am I the only one who thinks that statement is crazy? Just by itself without any other information? Well, before I asked clarifying questions.. I thought to myself, that that was stupid. Who would WANT to feel hungry? Normally, those of us who have access to food, eat when we feel that, so we don’t entertain that sensation for too long… because it’s an easy thing to get rid of. Hunger. I mean.. People who are healthy, don’t ask for sickness to remind them how it feels to be healthy. They just hope for that. Healthiness. You don’t ask for cancer.. You hope you don’t get it. Sure, once you do get that sickness, or you feel that negative sensation, you appreciate the greener grass on the other side, but to ask for that is a little backwards isn’t it?

Anyway, I tried to consider the reasoning almost instantly. I mean, there must be a reason for being backwards when human nature is purposefully ignored. So, I thought about it, and thought, my husband tries to ask for those things sometimes because he wants to appreciate that he doesn’t have to go hungry. BUT does that counter the reasoning of his fasting for blessings? Anyway, he answered this way when I did inquire. “It’s nice to be reminded of how it is to be hungry because then I can better appreciate not being hungry. Also, it feels good to eat after being hungry.”

I still think I don’t understand fully why doing that could be a good thing. I understand feeling empathetic towards those with less food, less money, etc. But to physically put your body in their place, is just.. not normal to me.

Weird things my husband says part 2.

“The beer battered fish tacos look good. I’m just worried about the beer.”

Do all mormons think that eating something that has been made with alcohol or something similar could possibly affect your body? Do you feel as if you’re getting drunk if you eat ice cream made with liquor? Do you feel as if you’re sinning if you eat a beer battered taco? What if you learn the alcohol is cooked out in the process of cooking or creating the food. Like, the only thing left from that specific ingredient, is the flavor. Not the effect it has on a body when ingested without having the alcohol cooked out. Would that knowledge be important to you? Or would you still feel that guilt or shame if you ate one or something with that? I mean, there’s bread made with beer.. Apparently it’s delicious. I swear I’ve had some.. But I was a teen. There’s no way that’d be legal to serve. Anyway, it just confuses me that it is a feared thing. Although.. I don’t like alcohol. At all. Like, I think it’s disgusting, I’m not a drinker. I would much rather weed be legal, and alcohol be illegal. It’s stupid. I have my reasons.

How would one LOGICALLY think and justify the hunger thing? Like, is that only an emotional conundrum?

And as far as the eating things that has been cooked with beer, is that normal amongst the LDS faith? Or, is that just a Craig thing? Why would you eat or not eat them tacos?

Blessings and words.

So… question. If an atheist says something she’s grateful for, would someone religious count that as a blessing? I looked up the definition of blessing, and it seems to be used with religious connotation… so I don’t think I’m allowed to use that terminology..but my husband does. There’s a lot I don’t think is appropriate for me to say.. But then if I don’t, my husband either thinks of it differently, or someone else thinks I’m rude, etc. Like, it’s socially appropriate to say, “Bless you” when someone near you sneezes right? Well.. as an atheist.. I find that inappropriate. BUT… if I were to say, “excuse you”, or stared at them til they were done wiping their nose.. it comes across pretty rude right? Or like, where others say, “OH MY GOSH”... I say “Oh My God” and I’m going to blame that on years of Southern Influence. BUT if I were to say, and I totally do sometimes depending on the crowd, “Oh everyone else’s God”, it’s rude. Especially in Mormon culture. I remember when my entire 4th grade class shushed me because it was mortifying coming from the south and not knowing that that was something that was not aprops here. As an adult, I’ve grown to understand, some can say offensive things to me, and I can handle it. Unless it’s politically incorrect, or super offensive, they probably have no idea. And, if I want to build rapport with them I let them know, that offends me, and we both move on. Depending on whether or not they continue to use that terminology that offends me, decides whether or not our rapport building continues, or I look at myself and decide, whether or not it’s even worth it to make a fuss. For the most part, I know that people don’t mean to offend others in casual conversation, and vice versa. People don’t usually express frustration anymore because they’re over 11 years old, and understand that “Oh my God” is just me expressing exclamation. Not their version of insulting their God. HOWEVER, I do think almost every time, ugh.. I shouldn’t say that. Alas, it just slips sometimes. It’s hard to re-wire 30 years of conditioning.

Anyway, what do you guys think about censorship due to religious reasons? Like, are they just words, or should you be careful? What about the opposite? Like, when someone says, Hey I’m an atheist… would you be offended if someone was like, ok well i’ll pray for you? LOL. I can’t count how many times people were like, we’ll, you’ll change your mind… or, ok well i’ll use my religion to hope you’ll change… etc. No matter how many times I’ve told a few people I’m atheist I still get memes and such that are super religious saying, send this 20 times and you’ll get blessings, or whatever. I mean… you wouldn’t like tell a person who’s Muslim that they should be christian and that their religion should be omitted from their lives, etc. etc. It just sounds mean… just kind of calm down, and be ok with who they are. Don’t be upset. It’s not about you. It’s about me. Like, I don’t feel like I want to blame a higher being for things that go wrong, that’s my problem. But, when things go right, I want to make sure I feel and take credit and be responsible. I did that. I did well. I need to be responsible for my life. Take control. If I believed in a God.. i’d be a really sad and angry person. I used to be actually. I blamed God for being abandoned by my mother, and for being abused multiple times, etc etc. It was hard. I never knew why a higher being, would put me through that, and here’s the thing. Sometimes, I’d tell that to people and then I would get responses like, well it’s because he’s testing you, or they say… well it’s to make you stronger… well shit. I would honestly take being weak over being put through the stuff I’ve been through. It seems like a shitty cop-out.

For Craig, religion seems to be what he needs to be happy. Going back to the idea of conditioning.. He doesn’t know anything else. He has learned that when he needs help, he needs to pray. When he wants to do kind things for people, he needs to be Godly, and do a service. It’s his guidance. His therapy. And that’s absolutely OK. If he needs that to be happy, he should do that. And I should support him. Because I love him. I want him to be happy.

To be continued. Especially since I could rant about conditioning someone to believe in religion since the time they’re born. I mean Catholics get baptized as babies.. Then have a communion at 8. Mormons get blessings (the equivalent to a baby baptism for Catholics) and then baptized about 8 years. Doesn’t that seem a bit young? I mean.. To make such a life changing decision for them, or condition them to believe that’s correct, without explaining all the options is a little one sided. Xander is being raised agnostic. And he sees both sides.. But again, more to that later.

Sunday Lame Day

Craig and I are opposites in almost every way. It's what makes him so interesting to me. He is a shy white Mormon introvert with extrinsic motivators with an academic background. I am a Mexican that's been white washed, and never been raised religious, extroverted, and am intrinsically and extrinsically motivated…& I also love makeup. That was unnecessary but I'm dramatic and adding things just so you get a feel for who I am, in case we're not friends. Also, I'd love to be friends. Back to the blog thing I'm doing. We’re yin and yang. And… we like our free time to be spent in opposite ways. I like being busy, and not having any.. And he loves gaming and being in his bedroom for 97 hours straight and never leaving the house. That stresses me out. I have to leave the house, on average.. Once a day. He.. would prefer never to do that. Well, so when we need to run errands and such, or I need to socialize and feel happy inside… it stresses him out. The anxiety gets to him. I have to space it out, and do it methodically, or alone. And, alone is weird for me. I’d rather spend every second with him possible.. If it’s in line at the DMV.. then sobeit. I’ll do whatever mundane task us adults are so not happy about, but I’ll literally be happy if he is with me.

Anyway, sometimes we need to alter our schedule. We both work until 6, and quite often, I work later, leaving a lot of our time to run mundane errands, to be for the weekend. While we try to leave after work for relaxing, that leaves a lot of things for Saturdays and Sundays. Now, in Craig’s upbringing and the church have taught him that Sundays are for Family things that do NOT involve money. For me, I don’t get it. I don’t understand why someone would feel closer to God if they spend money on a Monday instead of securing someone's job by going in and making sure they have a reason to be there on a Sunday. Sundays are for church… and nothing else? Apparently this is a commandment. The 4th one to be exact. I get that they don’t do this stuff. The shopping on Sundays, the going out and doing things, that cost, etc… and it’s never bothered me until I had to figure out how I can not do things on a Sunday.. When it isn't something I agree with. Does that make sense? I literally don’t understand why they (Mormons) think that spending money on a Sunday is a bad thing. I counter almost everything they say. Well, we don’t want to make people work on a Sunday. Ok.. but.. What if that place lays that person off, and that person is out of a job just because Mormons don’t shop on Sundays? What if that person is a single mom, and specifically chose this job because it allows her to get an extra shift in on Sundays, that another job just can’t afford? What if something that would normally take 2 hours on a Monday after work, or during lunch break, takes 30 min on a Sunday? It just seems logical to use this advantage right? It doesn’t make sense to me how this would strengthen your relationship with your higher power. I may never. BUT… I try to sit back, and when it means something to me, or we need to due to our schedules this week, I make my argument and hope for the best. I respect if he doesn’t want to, as long as it’s something I can reschedule. He’s being more flexible lately. I think he’s starting to get it. Just wish I could get it back. Sometimes, I wanna feel what he feels. Then other times, it seems like the cons outweigh the pros. Why is Sunday so sacred? Why’s it Sunday and not Saturday? The measurement of time is a man made construct. So… why are we choosing that day and say a “God” did?

Guide to Being Married to a Mormon.

Fast Sunday.

Today I asked him what day was “Fast Sunday” again. It’s like the 3rd time this month I’ve asked.

I asked him about an important life decision, and he wants to wait for Fast Sunday to come so he can pray about it..and I’m impatient. Not sure why I need an answer now.. but I’m also not sure why he needs to wait for a special Sunday to pray. Totally thought that was the idea, of praying. Ask and ye shall receive? Why only if you ask that day? Does that mean if you ask this day, you’ll get a faster/better answer than if you were to ask the last Sunday of the month? I’ve asked him about his process many times. I’m genuinely curious, but still confused because of the way I think about it. Because I’ve gone through this process of deciding that religion was NOT for me. I don’t agree with it. It seems.. unnecessary. BUT.. he not only loves it, his religion, but he grew up with it. It’s embedded in his code. And I’m so sure he feels the same way about atheism that I do about religion. So, here we are.

I’ve questioned this relationship.. lots of times. But the truth of the matter is… I don’t think I would love him if I didn’t find him interesting and or real. This is him. The real him. And he makes me deliriously happy. And this religion, with a few tweaks, makes him happy. So.. instead of hating it… I ask questions. And, he does too. And that’s OK. We’re both pretty respectful, usually he more than I.. but he’s also got thicker skin.. So this is what works for us.

Back to the point. Fast Sunday : Usually(??) the 1st Sunday of each month. “Usually” because, apparently twice a year.. they (Mormons) decide that they have a special meeting instead of Fast Sunday. During this fast, they go without food (sometimes water as well) and concentrate on their prayers a little more. They remove eating for the day (until dinner) as a task, for a few reasons. As far as I can tell, it helps them not be distracted, so as to feel that spirit just a little more. Sermon that day, called Fast and Testimony meeting, is not a bunch of lessons from leaders, but a bunch of people sharing why they believe in the church, or what helps them feel close to their lord. So, they share their love, and focus on feeling spiritual.. and the prayer helps them feel their direction.